2019 Resolution

My 2019 Mantra: Discipline is Freedom. This is from Jocko Willink’s book Discipline Equals Freedom.  I realize I need be more disciplined with my diet and my workouts to be successful in losing weight this year.

  • Lose weight.
    • Intermittent fasting does seem to work for me.  I lost weight this Christmas when I was eating at my own schedule.  But I realized I need to be much more disciplined.  I’ve been experimenting on fasting cycles too.  I’ve been able to eat one meal a day as well as 2 meals within 8 hours.  But I can’t decide which fasting cycle is ideal.  I honestly have had a difficult time trying to adjust the eating/fasting cycles so that the fasting cycles coincide with normal working hours.
    • As part of this weight loss program, I’m going to consciously add 1 day a week of relatively moderate weight lifting exercise as well as core training.  This will be recorded in the journal.
    • My goal is 10 lbs/ quarter.  By the end of the year, I will be approximately 220 lbs.  I’m currently at 260 lbs.
  • Fasting / Food Journal
    • I intend to log my fasting start and end time for the full year.
    • I intend to log a food journal as well too.
    • I intend to record the weight lifting and core exercises.
  • Read 4 books.
    • Obesity Code by Jason Fung
    • Wooden by John Wooden
    • What’s Mine is Yours by Rachel Botsman/Roo Rogers
    • Priceless by William Poundstone
  • Travel three times this year.
    • Planned: Okinawa/Taiwan
    • Within US, I’d like to visit New Orleans, Seattle, Atlanta, Houston.
    • Outside US, I’d like to visit Australia, New Zealand, Iceland.
  • Play 1 hour of Piano a Day.
    • Learn all three movements of the Moonlight Sonata aka Piano Sonata No. 14 in C♯ minor Op. 27, No. 2.  I actually know most of the 1st movement but I don’t play it enough to remember.


It’s 2019!

Discipline is Freedom!!

Let’s do this!!!

2018 In Review

After the personal events that transpired in 2017, 2018 doesn’t seem all that bad.

Most importantly, I passed the PMP exam.  Secondly, I started working again.  I finished 4/6 books.  I am on track to finish the 1 Second Every Day project.  I was able to travel twice despite unemployment for a length of time.  And if you count a weekend road trip up to Bay Area as “traveling” then I traveled three times this past year.  My weight was decreasing but started increasing again when I started working.  Overall, I hit a few personal goals but also failed to finish a few as well too.

2019 goals to come.

A New Watch

I think it’s time to get and wear a watch again.  I used to wear one but with the invention of the smartphone, the smartphone becomes the watch.  In the past years, I never really needed a watch before but recently I’ve been having what could be described as “Time Anxiety.”  It’s a feeling that I’m going to miss something important because I didn’t notice the time and I feel self conscious about taking out my smartphone to especially when I’m talking to people who are at a much higher pay grade than me.

I’ve been researching watches and watch brands.  I’m going to stay away from the smart watches.  I’ve always been amazed at the Automatic/Kinetic watches where the movement of the arm powers the watch.  I also don’t want too expensive of a watch but I’m not sure what my price point is at the moment.  Ideally I’d also like a small case.  It seems like most men’s watches seem to be around 42mm case which I feel is pretty huge on the wrist.

Something like this… or this…??  Hmmm….

Kpop Star IU

After watching both season 1 and 2 of Hyori’s B&B, I was wondering who IU (Season 1 Staff) was. After reading about her and listening to her music, I’ve been obsessed with IU’s song called You&I.

There’s something about this song that makes it addictive. Is it her sweet angelic voice? Is it the steady “tick tock” beat? Is it the melody bobs up and down like a sine wave?

Now after listening, you might be wondering how obsessed? I’m burning mobile data to listen to her song on Youtube.

Discipline equals Freedom

I listen to quite a few podcasts throughout the week. One of these podcasts (Tribe of Mentors by Tim Ferriss) interviewed Jocko Willink. This phrase “Discipline equals Freedom” comes from Jocko and his time as a Navy Seal instructor. His two most common examples are:

  1. if you want to lose weight (freedom from extra baggage), you have to have the discipline to control what you eat.
  2. if you want to have financial security (freedom from debt), you have to have the discipline to control spending and to save money.

This mantra triggered an epiphany moment. It brought back memories of parental lessons passed to me, the lessons I’ve learned from the success and failures that I’ve experienced in the past 30+ years and even the current struggles that I’m facing today. I started to mentally categorize these memories and came to a profound realization that many of the successes can be attributed to maintaining discipline from start to finish. This reflection started me down a rabbit hole on YouTube (link, link, link). Just listening to the YouTube links and considering how this one phrase changed my thought process, I ended up buying his book on Amazon.

Currently, there are alot of things that I could do better if I exercised the necessary discipline. And since I recognize that I don’t exercise the discipline, it becomes much easier to recognize when I don’t have discipline as well as ask why I don’t have the discipline. And subsequently, what can I do to gain the discipline. In reality, I have patterns and behaviors that encourages the lack of discipline that I first need to identify and seek a solution for. Then… I can follow Jocko’s advice and “just do it.”

The 2017 Refraction

For me, four events defined 2017.  So much so that I’m writing about the mental refractions from these events.

All four events came in the latter half of 2017.  For simplicity, I’ll label them as Event A, B C and D.  Events A, B and D have undoubtedly negatively affected me.  Event C was my attempt to minimize the effects of the other three events.  And to some degree, it hasn’t worked.  But at the same time, I also know events A, B and D were out of my control and something I could never have controlled in the first place.  However, it’s that feeling of “not being good enough” that ultimately gnaws at my sense of self.

Events A and D shook my self positivity completely.  The cumulative effect changed my mindset with a subtle hint of pessimism.  How do I know?  When talking to a friend about a topic that we had previously talked about in the past, I was shocked at the fact that my thought process was different this time around.  I had remembered my previous stance on the topic, yet for some reason, I had a more pessimistic stance I was espousing now.

Event B made me realize that I became complacent without realizing it.  There have been many things I “should have” accomplished but I ultimately took a route deluding myself by making up excuses.  Event B made me re-evaluate my life up until now and where I want to head in the future.  As someone close to me said, “because of Event B, now is the time to go for any change I’ve wanted.”

I think Events A, B and D occurring by itself would have been OK.  But with A and B in the same month and D shortly after, the effect to my mental state was pretty toxic.  I realized early on that my frame of mind had shifted after A and B.  D just broke it.  I haven’t really “recovered” yet.  I recognize the issues I’m having and I still relapse into a negative head space.  But, it’s been hard to redraw the Circle of Zorro and to shift my language to a more positive manner.  And with the holidays going on, I feel lonely at times since I can’t share the joy of the holidays with someone.

Despite all the negative head space, the countless self-reflections and “self-pity/self-loathing” scenarios, I ultimately reached a few realizations and epiphanies.  I know I neither can change the past nor change the present.  What I have to do is aim for a future that I want.  Most the realizations are being incorporated into my personal goals for 2018.

  • Pass PMP exam.
    • First, I need to get the 35 contact hours to satisfy the application requirements.  And have the application approved.
    • Once it’s approved, I can study and pass the exam.  There are lots of printouts to study and memorize.
    • I am considering on taking a bootcamp right before taking the exam.
  • Lose weight.  Currently 253 pounds as of Dec 31st.
    • I’ve found that intermittent fasting seems to work the best for me.
    • I need to account for external influences.
    • I will continue playing squash at least 4 times a week but add more body weight exercises at home.
  • Find new job.
    • I know the type of job I’m looking for.
    • I know the type of job I would prefer not to work in.
    • I wouldn’t mind being able to work from home often.
  • Use the 1 Second Every Day app.
    • I think this would be interesting project to do for the year.
  • Read 6 books.  I have at least 2 books I’ve been wanting to read forever…
    • Duhigg.  Smater, Faster, Better.
    • Sanders.  Our Revolution.
  • Travel more after finding a job.  Top 3 locations…?
    • Within US: Atlanta, Seattle, Houston.
    • Outside US:  Australia. New Zealand, Iceland.